Listen, there’s a bomb inside

Maybe you can start by
Pushing the volume down and
Listen to the sound of
The voice in your heart
That sheds your tears

Maybe you can hear why
You see me mope and cry
Because I’m sorry for my silence
Long and loud
It’s just that when I see you
It’s like there’s a bomb in my mouth
So big I start to gag inside
And if I say a word
It’ll ignite
And burn both you and me

And the bomb says your name “” “”

Dear husband of mine
Could you would you maybe please
Dewire this burden and bring us ease
With your soft hands
And your sweet voice
Scan your eyes into mine
Because it’s been programmed into mine
Would you kiss my lips
And take your time
Delicately unwire this sensitive set
Of coils that are clogging my throat

Say nice things

Touch me in ways

That make us both feel divine?

Or maybe I can swallow it with pain
And one day, when the sky cries and makes it rain
It will explode inside me
Taking me up to the sad heavens
Through all the rain and all the gray
I’ll be Forever and ever gone away

And you can finally forget me
A burden to you
And keep listening to the volume up high
Because the sound will never bother me
It’ll never reach me
Up high in the sky

And you can be relieved
As we will both be in peace

And released

From our differences

Composure and Waiting

Feb19

And all whats’s needed next is to look into those eyes

and that smile

and hear that heartbeat

and manifest those feelings

composed so intricately

disguised so delicately

behind words and meanings

left incomplete

and waiting

Blabbermouth

Feb7

I thought I could be strong

But I guess I was wrong

That I’m safe and my guesses are perfectly calculated

That I won’t be later instigated

But instead, my mistakes have made me learn to keep quiet and not be stern

Especially when they say oh hey let’s see what you have to say

The truth will always be, that whomever speaks more falls deeper

Deeper and deeper than before

With every word given more

So be careful when you store your lore

And even more when you decide to let it pour

For that stuff has refined like wine

And comes our way more intense than the steady suspense that had built up over time

Did I say too much?

Feb7

The irony

The only release of my numbness is to ignore my feelings

Because my feelings make me to numb.

Sad and scared, distraught with regret

I’m wondering why

I even said the things I thought

I thought maybe, thoughts should be shared

But I forgot entirely

That thoughts can become things

And things can become dangerous

And I should be brave enough

To fight what my own words create!

Weaknesses

Feb7

My weaknesses
Can be narrowed down to naiivety innocence, and nuisance.

Which is precisely why
Silence and observance
With patience
Is the key
To my prosperity

My fiend , Fear, and also friend when I am near

Jan31

As I lie back into the comfort of solace
With eyes closed and enveloped in darkness
I forgot that I’m a visitor to someone sinister
And that this blissful darkness is not my own domain.
Rather Fear dwells deep within the warmth of this depth
Crawling, creeping up to whisper to my heart so crassly
“Do you really think that you can have what you desire- I’ve trained you to want nothing but for you to prosper”

My beautiful friend, my formidable foe, Fear, is a ghost risen from the broken death of tragedy. She forms her words so carefully, all crafted from the pain of past misery. She thinks she’s my teacher and my savior, a priestess who has sought my forgiveness.

But forgiveness for what? I speculate in silence, but in silence or sung aloud,

My thoughts are music to her shrine.

No secrets over here. All is heard quite clear.

“Forgive yourself for foolery! For faltering and fumbling to and fro, from past tragedies! Oh you should know!” She rose, eyes bright with excitement. She thinks shes kind and loving for every syllable in her chastisement.

I fall back, “no. Forgiveness is not imprisonment. This is nothing less of a punishment. You’ve changed the meaning of forgiveness to a cruel way of admonishment. I’m in no need of atonement, there was never any sin in my disdain!

Even if wasn’t innocent,if I don’t persist, then wouldn’t my life become meaningless? I’m now safe and now un-sorry. I’ve found how to face my past folly. I assure you, oh fear , by God I shant fall again.

So please , be my friend and guide me according to sense!
We must oust ourselves of this great suspense, and grow together once again!

And thus, the fiend, Fear, fell silent, defeated yet retreated. She is now my beautiful friend, an advisor once again, and dwells with me in darkness, ready to guide me upon my acquaintance.

She made one last request before I left.
Crept up and calling with humility, “Goodness, can you call me , Wisdom, my dear woman? “

“I sure can” , as I tipped my imaginary hat!