Is Past to Blame?

Tell me, how am I supposed to feel

When all I get are crazy things to hear

my childhood was full of fights and nights of tears

I grew up shy with no words to ever say

I’ve never had no friends and today it’s still the same.

And now I’m always afraid of what move to make.

I feel like I’m stuck- I’ve lost from the beginning

Maybe it’s fate, or maybe I’m sinning.

I was never free, despite what it appears to be

But I’ve held onto faith and smile for hope.

I know I’m alone, but from above there’s a rope

for me to climb up, and let all else go-

ignore what’s happening, and keep writing

my list of wishes,

like how I wish someone would do the dishes-

I still struggle to live as life should be

But maybe one day, I’ll live as me

With a tough past, but free of grief.

and maybe I’ll finally write

when I’m not sad, but happy.

 

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Ijtihad 


Even if all circumstances are different 

And the world changes its course
And my tongue is forced silent
My intention is enough for me
Bc I’ll continue to believe
And think
And prosper in my dreams 

Patience in the past 

Sabr is knowing your value

And not giving up or giving in

It’s to believe that Allah is there for you

Regardless of what others claim your sin

Perhaps you have no control in this world

But you have the universe to call your friend

And those who have already reached their end

because although they are memories,  you remember them.

So remember their efforts in turbulence

And how they waited for droughts to sprout the sea

Or for shackles to be removed only to become king on a throne

You are witness to their stories and you are witness to your own

you have paths to follow from the past

And knowledge to understand your own

So be patient and be free

And keep climbing until you reach the other side

Because your real treasure lies in the shadows, beyond what any human can see

Fairest of em all

I’m a queen of my own making

My sweat adorns me with gold

My feet carry me to my throne

And my lowered eyes make me high
security is my sword

upright shoulders and a solemn tongue

I have honor shadowing my path
Virtue has draped me in a cape

And my heart has become my veil

My secrets are my strength, of which is no one’s avail.
I’ve no ditches dug for blackmail or treachery

I don’t need a fort to keep me snug

My honor is the sun and cool air beeming around me and creating happy shadows, 

I have nothing to hide
I can’t be fought over a drought dried of delight and rain

I’ve distanced myself from your woeful gain
There is no usury without the ingredient of misery

and I have none, thus I’m unbeatable

And my journey has just begun
My head is bare of a crown, my keen scrutiny is enough for a noticable light of status.

I don’t look into murky water, it’s a waste of divine time

I’m a queen of my own making, and my successor is my good deeds

Thus creating Never ending waves as my army
My name may be one day forgotten

But my work will be everlasting

And that makes me

The fairest of em all

#sjw

#female

A secret, intentionally forgotten

Is chivalry a secret?

Silently preserved in the archives of patriarchy

Is a woman’s respect and honor a conspiracy as much as it is a horrid dream
You think you’re being casual but damn it I know what you’re doing

I’m not your bro or broski

It’s a projection to enjoy my reaction and feed yourself

I’m not your friend, I’m a woman with honor and dignity

Because I wouldn’t want anyone else treated like that, regardless of who they are.

Chastity isn’t only on the inside

It’s everything on the outside

Be loyal to yourself, let others be loyal to themselves as well.