When tears are lies

my tears are lies
for my brothers and sisters in pain
my tears are lies when i get angry over losing a ring
my tears are lies when Id rather buy myself bling
I’m a liar
when it’s me before you
and my gain and ur loss
I’ll use the worlds water to clean a spec off my shoes
while they sit and wait for days for a droplet
my lord is my witness
when they ask me what I had done with my strength

to help them or  my whims

I’m told to. Wait.

 

I come home ready to dance
Full of life like its my only chance

But what I get for all my efforts
Is him his face crooked and facebookin

Scrolling up
Scrolling down
Wasting time like he’s getting paid

What’s my sin
What’s my fault
What do I do
Its like my eyes have salt getting laid
I cannot cry
I cannot complain
Can only sit motionless
And wait in vain

I was told to teach
Told to wait
Im meant to preach
But this pain- I hate
I’d rather go back to dreaming!
At least I can hope and keep feeling
But now my hearts empty
Drained from its heavy beats

How long how hard do I keep trying
Without seeing progress
Im human I need a visual
Im sensitive I need a heart touching intellectual

I hear myself breathing
I close my eyes but still keep seeing
Can’t sleep
Can’t think
I don’t know
How should I be??

Yes he’s immature
He’s into all the material
He can see things in one way
I can see them in two
For that he feels inferior
As though he’s in a play
But I say this is life- we are two
See what im saying this is how we do

What choice do I have but to tell him how to do it
Im to cook and Sow
But also show him how to make life flow
Its not fair,
I dare  say
Its not fair– its all I can say

I teach him I get denied
I preach him– Im now arrogant
I love him– im set aside
I flirt with him– my heart gets bent!

How do I make it through is all I can wonder
What is the correct move
Its all I wish to render
I want to end it
But that’s too fiesty
Im told im expecting too much
Asking for the nonexistent mr.perfect

 

Victory

sometimes you want to find a place

where there’s nothing to chase

nor a goal to ace

a place to be calm

a place where you don’t give a damn

alone and free just feelings of glee

no need to share

nor dare to compare

no failing stares following the backward stars

or counting from minutes to hours

hoping to find an end to despair

a place where time welcomes allowing you to shine with every spec of glitter sparkling one after another

you want to find this place you want it so bad

so that each blade of grass you pass finds your shadow never ending as you stand strong facing the wind until dawn arrives for a new beginning giving you the courtesy to rule, forever grinning

victory

your memories turned to stone

via for Phone app.

Your memories are all stone
Thrown into a forgotten tomb

Placed deep into the earth
Where no lies or greed can seep,
Where No humanity can seek

There’s no where for you to be found
In my life so profound
So leave, away
No need to stay
And hope like a lost ghost 👻

You’re a fallen soul
Who left its goal
And took to worldly lore

 
I swore and swore
Over how much I bore
Until too much met its last

So I let you go
And set myself free
Before the last bit of me
Came to a freeze

The heat of my faith
Melted my frozen stream
And led  me to bring life to a new garden
Where long awaited flowers bloom
And the sun
Finally sets to a soft sleep