You are the Feast

It can be your own mind that makes you trip
Cower and wince in pain
As if there’s a burning oil on your skin, you try to whip it off but you can’t

because it’s inside your head.

Something else poured that oil in
Spreading through inside your arms- not outside, it’s on the other side of your skin

Nobody can see the blisters forming on that side
Except the tears and dark circles of exhaustion around your eyes
You wonder why you can’t make it go away
Its 2018- you should be on top of this, but this toxic burning sensation is an age old poison

Where the only cure is that you survive it through before it kills you

You wanna scream and go wild
There’s a wildfire burning the forest of tranquility in your eyes
But its on the other side.  It’s inside of you. It’s in the world. of you.
Not the world you live in.

Why don’t your tears extinguish the flames
you hold your breath, for as long as it takes- yet the flames continue searing with dark shades of blue

something else poured the oil in, something- or someone, some how

fed the snakes slithering beneath your skin

and now there’s hell dancing in excitement, ready to devour what it has prepared with delicacy.

you are the feast. roasted and rattled.

all inside of your mind.

but something brought it in.  something real, something actual

and part of the world outside.

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Don’t be a monster, you’re not a monster

Please don’t be a monster
Don’t let it devour you
It hurts to hurt but
Don’t let it seethe you
Remember when you were a little girl
And you would try to see it through

Don’t be a monster
Just let these feelings pass
Think of all the soft petals
Brushing across your rosey cheeks

Its okay, you are still you
They are just old
And hurting to make it through
Be nice to them, and work for them

They raised you with love and honey
And warm milk and enough money
For you to grow and smile

So remember those smiles
Remember their smiles

You are not a monster
So don’t be a monster
Don’t let their harsh words devour you
They still love you
And always will love you

Your mouth must hold the thorny roses
For their empty vases
Because they poured all their water
Into your empty glass
So you can be full and
Face the world of faces
And be quenched to face its heat
So don’t ever slip and beat
And make yourself feel weak

Serve them well with your full glass
And hold their thorny roses
So you all can smell its soft petals

And plant their last smile
For their short while left.

An Answer (a cycle of victim-blaming)

Finally gotten the opportunity to find an answer

But before receiving an answer, there has to be a question

How can there be a question if the problem can’t be named

The problem appears invisible, as you’re the only witness

It’s hard to prove the facts when you’re the only evidence

As the evidence is you, unchanged, unmoved, still in place, frozen in a state of permanence

the problem appears to be you

Questions are refuted to you

You are the fault

So now take the salt

Answer the question

that you brought into creation

Because you’re the one who complained

You’re the one who cried

you’re the one who stood apart

so face this disgrace and comply

for trying to escape your space

stand back in place

the ace is in my hand

i’m the one in command

They call me Emotional

They call me emotional
They say im makin drama

But they don’t really know what’s in all this trauma

It’s hard to believe
That its your own life that’s changing
It’s hard to find a solution that’s worth taking

Im emotional
But for a good reason
To clear out
any traces of treason
Don’t worry for me ill carve out my way
I’ll keep my eyes open, waiting for the dawn to shine its rays

It’s a struggle, yes I know you know
But its not an excuse
For you to abuse
And force me to use
Your narrow-minded advice
Which will drag me to my demise

Im in a problem
A real big problem
But just like everybody else, ill live my own way
I control my actions

and I face the reactions.

so let me, I do say,
Please, if you don’t mind,
Let me play
My drama
And be
Emotional
And handle things
In my own way.