And all whats’s needed next is to look into those eyes
and that smile
and hear that heartbeat
and manifest those feelings
composed so intricately
disguised so delicately
behind words and meanings
left incomplete
and waiting
And all whats’s needed next is to look into those eyes
and that smile
and hear that heartbeat
and manifest those feelings
composed so intricately
disguised so delicately
behind words and meanings
left incomplete
and waiting
Live in this world to give, then there isn’t much left to hurt you
Live in this world for sacrifice, your expectations will be met.
Live in this world for patience, there’s no room for regret.
Live in this world to serve, your feet will never touch the ground
and perhaps you will find self-love
through perseverance
Why cant I stop this overwhelming feeling of heartbreak and rigidity? My emotions have become immobile- unable to shift and change. Instead, it’s off the charts in angst and frozen in the tundra of a once blooming spring. Dreams and whimsy, all flushed into a sinkhole of reality. A blackhole of burden, pressure, and a repeating pattern of hopes time-warped into non-existence.
This is why I hate being tickled with the happy ideas of life’s average milestones. Because average is exactly what I’m not. Average is aristocracy among all those around me dwelling in posh politics and wealth. I’m living in my own world, within the world of my immediate community, within the world of my city, within a grim world of war, poverty, and distrust. Of course the overall world has it’s little honeycomb pockets of honey with honest-working people buzzing in their lives for the greater good.
But coming back to me, my purpose, and my stability, I’ve no choice but to rest my case of happiness into studying, labor, and discipline. I’m a soldier in my own war, and there is no giving in.
So here I am, chiseling my goals out of the glaciers of my gloom.
When did I grow up so fast
Because I still feel the same chills
As I did when I was a child
Who stood around the corner
Far from the other kids
Just like now
I stand around relentlessly
Infinitely unsure
On whether to step into the game
Or flake out
Only difference between now
And me as a child
Is that I don’t cry as often
And I wish I could.
I said Goodbye to a closed door
belonging to an empty room
and walked away
with its mess in my head,
and my hands empty-handed, yet
trailing behind me
a massive shadow of guilt,
for yet again,
I wasted my time
for taking the burden and swiping out the room
but this time, I will dare say
that the mess in my head-
I will make sure to clear it away
and chisel the hidden crystal truths
into perfectly chiseled realities
for me to adorn myself with, as necklaces
bangles, and rings.
this is the collection of luxury
I earn through the misery
of leaving an unsolved mystery
of an empty room
with all its content
stolen and stuffed into my little head.
Destiny is like a lizard
when it finds its prey
it becomes invisible
it’s colors matching its surroundings
ready to make its pounce
and other times
it gets devoured
when its seen
by birds that keep an eye
from up high
just like people
who look at the world
from up high
and find what they’re looking for
You make it sound like I’m cold in the heat
and hot in the cold
but really, I’m only burning.
Tell me, how am I supposed to feel
When all I get are crazy things to hear
my childhood was full of fights and nights of tears
I grew up shy with no words to ever say
I’ve never had no friends and today it’s still the same.
And now I’m always afraid of what move to make.
I feel like I’m stuck- I’ve lost from the beginning
Maybe it’s fate, or maybe I’m sinning.
I was never free, despite what it appears to be
But I’ve held onto faith and smile for hope.
I know I’m alone, but from above there’s a rope
for me to climb up, and let all else go-
ignore what’s happening, and keep writing
my list of wishes,
like how I wish someone would do the dishes-
I still struggle to live as life should be
But maybe one day, I’ll live as me
With a tough past, but free of grief.
and maybe I’ll finally write
when I’m not sad, but happy.
Run away to heaven
leave everything behind
even the things that made you happy,
because it will all weigh you down.
Run away to heaven.
The trek is only so long.
So be patient as you sprint
and take deep breathes
as you sprint along.
But I’m running to my grave.
I don’t know at which age I’ll reach it.
It worries me that I’ll make mistakes,
even as I divorce the world.
If I’m running to my grave,
which is in all directions,
whichever I face, does it make a difference-
whatever decision I make?
There’s a story behind those eyes.
The sun sets differently,
and the moon shines in the other
Secret gardens blooming in each alcove
with underground troves of words and memories
too deep to rediscover.
Be generous, oh eyes,
cry and cleanse the treasure beneath them
the treachery witnessed has flooded your ponds
wrecking havoc and drowning your gardens.
Weep away the dirt you forgot to sweep away
before they fossilize and erode the wisdom
you’ve been polishing over the
silent, exhausting, and broken years.
Beneath those eyes there lies a hero
fighting the mirage of a ghostly, ghastly, phantom devil
always watching and peering through
at all the scenes you see and do
collecting all the reasons for you to falter
digging ditches and setting traps for you to fall for
These are your nightmares, mirages that don’t exist
But the hero within, is real and persists
waging a war, a single warrior waving a flag
and waiting for your order
as You are the commander
and the phantom awaits your surrender
But the hero- the warrior, remains ever standing
for the call to finish your battle
every night.
ready to gift you
your due victory
and rewrite the pages
of your story.