How to be a good Imam

Bismillah

Man the things that Allah swt teaches me with amazes me.  I’m thankful for all the sour people that come in my life.  It teaches me to stick up for myself, it teaches me morals, and it teaches me how to grow.

Based on a strange encounter I had with whom I had no idea was an Imam because of his lack of ethics, I decided to list out things I wish I was able to be treated with as a girl seeking help from a leader.

1) Take some counseling/ psych courses

Please learn how to approach a broken person.  Learn how to talk to someone, especially if they refuse to discuss confidential information with you.  If you want to help them, RESPECT THEIR BOUNDARIES and keep it HALAL.

If you are an Imam, learn to be professional in social work rather than to start abusing a victim and forcing them into your advice.

2)  Never insult your client

First thing they told me is that I’m bitter. Why? Because I wasn’t giggling or sweet-talking. I wasn’t smiling. I’m a survivor and trying to get my work done.  As a woman, I prefer to be straight-to-the point when talking to someone.

You don’t know your client.  You don’t know what they went through.  You don’t tell them they’re messed up for sticking to the rules and sharing their opinion

3) Never use religion as a weapon against them

This shows your lack of understanding of Islam.  Are you advising someone by threatening them?  That’s a form of abuse in itself. It’s messed up and doesn’t ever help someone.

4) Listen to what your client is saying

Truly listen to them. Emphasize with them.  Imagine what their context is. Understand them. Open your heart to them.  Be kind to them.  Look at what they’re going through.  Look at their struggles, their circumstances, give them credit for the effort they’ve put into.

5)  Believe in them.

When they tell you their crisis, don’t take it for granted.  It’s not something to be taken lightly.  Don’t slap them in their face and tell them their crisis is nothing, that people are going through worse things.  Believe in what they’re saying.  Help them get better, help them heal.

6) Allow them their freedom and options

Allow them to choose their path.  After-all, they’re the ones who are struggling, let them choose their struggles. Let them take their time in things.  There’s no time-limit or deadline on how they should progress.

DO NOT FORCE your advice on someone. YOU COULD BE WRONG.  You could be misunderstanding something. LET ALLAH CATER THEIR PATHS AND DESTINY.  NOT YOU.  YOU ARE NOT GOD.

 

HasbiyAllahu wa ni’mal wakil.

In the end, Allah swt is everyone’s Wali. Allah is everyone’s protector. Allah is the one who provides refuge. Let Allah be Allah and let you be the Imam.

JazakAllahukhairan.

 

 

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Motto for Living in a Trump Era

nothing better than getting a healthy dose of the Masjid at times like this( Trump Era) This is what I have to share after listening to a lecture by some really awesome learned scholar phD dude, a brilliant educator of our young Imam.  This isnt all what the lecturer said, rather it’s my reflection and way of relating it to myself.
1) change our focus from falling for our desires, trying to get more of everything we want. more of our distractions, more of the shiny things, more of excess -basically anything -that signifies wealth for you.  the excess. the  extravagance.  the greed.   Be real with yourself and what matters
2) dont let circumstances make you take away your consideration for others. care for others, help others, ponder about others and their pains and how you can be there for them, expand unity beyond your personal borders.


3) bare through it patiently. it’s gonna be hard, scary, and ugly but we have to be our best especially in this time. no matter how much you wanna go off on someone, you gotta play it cool bc that’s what will hit the hardest if you wanna win. cuz the point of this all is that you wanna win and you cant win without controlling yourself and being humble

Your Raj and his entourage

never make your secrets free for your foes to hear
lest the first thing be that you’re brought to your knees and instructed to fear
since silence is safer for your hopes to remain clear
than your own hands be used against your own garments to sheer
because others become queer when they see you as sharp as a Spear in a world they try to keep for themselves to steer
theyd  rather have you be below as a dainty little peer
and be furthest from near–
lost, looking for the treasures in a mirage
stuck at the rear of an hourglass
placed as the jewel on the taj of the friend you hold so dear
whose claimed himself Raj
and  imprisoned you as his forever entourage

They call me Emotional

They call me emotional
They say im makin drama

But they don’t really know what’s in all this trauma

It’s hard to believe
That its your own life that’s changing
It’s hard to find a solution that’s worth taking

Im emotional
But for a good reason
To clear out
any traces of treason
Don’t worry for me ill carve out my way
I’ll keep my eyes open, waiting for the dawn to shine its rays

It’s a struggle, yes I know you know
But its not an excuse
For you to abuse
And force me to use
Your narrow-minded advice
Which will drag me to my demise

Im in a problem
A real big problem
But just like everybody else, ill live my own way
I control my actions

and I face the reactions.

so let me, I do say,
Please, if you don’t mind,
Let me play
My drama
And be
Emotional
And handle things
In my own way.

“Be Patient” they say

 

Be patient

there’s much more for a person to do in a damned situation than “be patient”
at a time of pain, remorse, and depression
seeing only gray and thinking in plain unending coils downward into a trance
it’s deathly call for submission as you struggle with your soul to hang up high and be saved from the black flames of the devils dance
it’s more than two hollow words “be patient”

it’s a war
with a garden near by
there’s a fire surrounding the garden
and you’re covered In wounds
the smoke is dense
and can barely see your path
behind you is destruction and in front of you is your fight
your trophy is your garden but even before that you must hover over that fire

it’s hectic it’s chaos
blurry vision
and confused direction
you’re wrong for looking up
you’re wrong for looking down
until you realize your path is right before you
to challenge the view
that thought that seemed true

the love and promise
that seemed to keep you alive
you were alive because of your own faith
for that love and promise was all fake
it was only there like a flag  that flows only as long as you keep blowing air
but once you’re out of breath
it’s limp and meaningless

and “be patient”, you say?

cuz if it were you I’d say
-I’m here for you all the way
just tell me what to do and I’ll obey
because your hardship is real to me
and your struggle is seen
we’ll both pull you out
as though it were a dream