When did I grow up so fast
Because I still feel the same chills
As I did when I was a child
Who stood around the corner
Far from the other kids
Just like now
I stand around relentlessly
Infinitely unsure
On whether to step into the game
Or flake out
Only difference between now
And me as a child
Is that I don’t cry as often
And I wish I could.
Tell me, how am I supposed to feel
When all I get are crazy things to hear
my childhood was full of fights and nights of tears
I grew up shy with no words to ever say
I’ve never had no friends and today it’s still the same.
And now I’m always afraid of what move to make.
I feel like I’m stuck- I’ve lost from the beginning
Maybe it’s fate, or maybe I’m sinning.
I was never free, despite what it appears to be
But I’ve held onto faith and smile for hope.
I know I’m alone, but from above there’s a rope
for me to climb up, and let all else go-
ignore what’s happening, and keep writing
my list of wishes,
like how I wish someone would do the dishes-
I still struggle to live as life should be
But maybe one day, I’ll live as me
With a tough past, but free of grief.
and maybe I’ll finally write
when I’m not sad, but happy.
Please don’t be a monster
Don’t let it devour you
It hurts to hurt but
Don’t let it seethe you
Remember when you were a little girl
And you would try to see it through
Don’t be a monster
Just let these feelings pass
Think of all the soft petals
Brushing across your rosey cheeks
Its okay, you are still you
They are just old
And hurting to make it through
Be nice to them, and work for them
They raised you with love and honey
And warm milk and enough money
For you to grow and smile
So remember those smiles
Remember their smiles
You are not a monster
So don’t be a monster
Don’t let their harsh words devour you
They still love you
And always will love you
Your mouth must hold the thorny roses
For their empty vases
Because they poured all their water
Into your empty glass
So you can be full and
Face the world of faces
And be quenched to face its heat
So don’t ever slip and beat
And make yourself feel weak
Serve them well with your full glass
And hold their thorny roses
So you all can smell its soft petals
And plant their last smile
For their short while left.
when we were kids
we used to tell each other
“I will never be like ‘that’”
We didn’t want to be shameless
seeing it from pure eyes, we saw what “that” really looked like
and now we’ve grown
and You’re exactly like “that” nice n simple
And there seems to be nothing wrong with it
As for me,
I’m something worse- I’m in between
I’m both “this” and “that”
thus drifted slightly apart.
the windows to my soul
are not my eyes lined with kohl
it’s these pages I write with zeal
to free the voices locked in the embers
of life’s burning coal
There are different inks to give the links
and express the way I feel
From the ink of tears I share my Pain
and the Hope I transpire from the nectar
of dreams wished to render
However the bane is just the same
as eyes give their secrets
when they shift or dilate
My weaknesses are as easy to read
when what’s omitted becomes a riddle
to solve the tampered thoughts unwritten
of the smitten child hidden in the middle
Note To My Sanity 