Is Past to Blame?

Tell me, how am I supposed to feel

When all I get are crazy things to hear

my childhood was full of fights and nights of tears

I grew up shy with no words to ever say

I’ve never had no friends and today it’s still the same.

And now I’m always afraid of what move to make.

I feel like I’m stuck- I’ve lost from the beginning

Maybe it’s fate, or maybe I’m sinning.

I was never free, despite what it appears to be

But I’ve held onto faith and smile for hope.

I know I’m alone, but from above there’s a rope

for me to climb up, and let all else go-

ignore what’s happening, and keep writing

my list of wishes,

like how I wish someone would do the dishes-

I still struggle to live as life should be

But maybe one day, I’ll live as me

With a tough past, but free of grief.

and maybe I’ll finally write

when I’m not sad, but happy.

 

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Run Away to Heaven

Run away to heaven

leave everything behind

even the things that made you happy,

because it will all weigh you down.

Run away to heaven.

The trek is only so long.

So be patient as you sprint

and take deep breathes

as you sprint along.

 

But I’m running to my grave.

I don’t know at which age I’ll reach it.

It worries me that I’ll make mistakes,

even as I divorce the world.

If I’m running to my grave,

which is in all directions,

whichever I face, does it make a difference-

whatever decision I make?