13th of Ramadan 1437


A Quran Reflection  ❤

SubhanAllahh there’s definitely something deep going on in surah araaf from, the stories of the previous prophets being denied resulting in destruction, and then to these ayahs 94 and 95.

I think there’s defnitely something I can infer regarding the psychology of a person, where he begins to think it’s totally normal for hardship and ease come together hand in hand.  Hardship and ease are both times of serious contemplation for a believer!  It’s not something for people to hold hands through and close their eyes till it’s over.

or enjoy until it’s over.

When the heart becomes dull to the الحسنة and thinks of it as nothing but a part of mother nature.  oh it happened in the past and it’s gonna happen in the future. nothing more to think of it.

For me, this is a spot for serious dua time.  To ask Allah to be extrememly mindful and thankful at times of ease and الحسنة and extremely careful and mindful and even thankful of course during times of hardship.

Relating these ayahs to my personal life. It scares me the most to see everything going SO well al humdulillah.  I have to compete with all the good things coming my way.  I feel like I really need to put in the effort (the same kind you do for finals- that kind of effort-) to please Allah swt and be thankful, and make duas.

To help other people and to fight to prove your thankfulness.

What I mean by fight is to take a serious position as if it’s my duty to be thankful.

and use my time like it’s life.  astaghfirullah. cuz that’s something I don’t really do.  But it really is time for me to tighten my belt up (as I think the prophet S would say) and be serious

besides, before ayahs 94 and the ayahs of the prophets,

around ayahs 50

وَلَا تُفْسِدُوا فِي الْأَرْضِ بَعْدَ إِصْلَاحِهَا وَادْعُوهُ خَوْفًا وَطَمَعًا ۚ إِنَّ رَحْمَتَ اللَّـهِ قَرِيبٌ مِّنَ الْمُحْسِنِينَ ﴿٥٦

I’m not making tafseer here, it’s just me connecting the ayahs to me so I can remeber and practice them. iA

Allah swt already told us to call upon him with legitimacy and urgency

cuz what else is خوف?  a person is direly serious when he’s scared and calling upon God.  A person is scared when he’s in a condition like this:

Man Survives 60 Hours Under Water In Sunken Ship


this guy was submerged for 60 days under water only alive because of a bubble because of science because of Allah.

I’ll never forget this story man.. subhanallah, I still think about it every now and then.

anyway.. what is طمع ?

here’s my 4 year old giant handy dandy dictionary!!  ( i was popular for carrying it and using it every day and everywhere at Bayyinah since it was so HUGE and  fat and mighty)



The Quran dictionary on ejtaal says it means to call upon him with fear and hope, where tam3 means hope, but it’s interesting to plug in all the other words as well,

cuz when you crave or desire something so bad, you feel as though that thing is a part of you and without it you are incomplete, thus you vehemently crave and desire it.  (like for chocolate for ex. just kidding)

and so in this case it’ll be like calling upon Allah swt is so necessary to you and what you are pleading him for is so direly needed.. without it you are just a mess and you need it…


anyway, about all these words in the Quran.. these words are alive.  they penetrate you and hit you deep because they refer to something very real about you and your humanness.  they aren’t just words that you pick up from shakespeare or something and forget about it because they don’t mean much for you

The words are all particularly chosen because they give a very fitting meaning for every reader and follower..

anyway now I’m just gonna do some serious dua and try to make myself more serious about practicing my deen.


here’s the link to ejtaal and the word tam3:






11th day of Ramadan 1437 The Intention

alright.. باسم الله الرحمان الرحيم

I was supposed to make daily reflections this Ramadan so I can get back on track to the way I used to be 3 years ago ( very punctual and timely  and spiritual etc)

Because now I’m barely gettin that spiritual iman-high back that I used to have like all the time…  especially in High school since I was always so upset over going to school. being a shy muslim n all.

But I think my problem really is the fact that I’m trying to be something from the past.

I’m somebody different now.  I’ve grown. I’ve seen marriage, gotten some college done, taken Islamic courses, learned a little bit of basic arabic.  I’m able to think more and reach better conclusions… (thinking positive, right?)

What I need to do is make a new picture of how I want myself to be.  To stop relating myself back to my 16 year old self.

I’ve gone through 2 years of serious learning (through marriage and diploma courses) and it’s taken a toll on me, but for the better.

My bestfreind grandpa sheikh-imam tells me I’ve matured and that I need to focus on further growing myself.

Now to grow myself spiritually again… I think I need to analyze something. What is spirituality? What is nearness to Allah swt?


It’s all about the intention. 

and my heart cries for it.  to be able to cry and make serious duas after every prayer the…(way I used to -shoot i referred to my past again)  to be in constant dhikr… to read a ton of Quran and listen to a ton of youtube lectures, etc.  I used to be able to recite on full volume 2 juz and be totally fine.  I mean I can still do that if I wanted to, but i’d get really tired if I did now..

The fact is that I’m trying and I want it.  though I may not feel it, I’ve learned that sometimes Allah tests us by Not having a sense of spirituality, but our jihad in trying is the faith itself.

that’s satisfying. I can only hope that that is how I’m doing.

my goals for Ramadan were to read lots of Quran but I don’t like reading plain Quran without understanding it. but It makes me feel bad when I spend nearly an hour trying to understand both by translation and grammar, and with meaning and reflection, and I get through 2 pages.. single sides.

but in sha Allah, I do hope that it’ll get better as time goes on.

cuz my new personal motto is to be AUTHENTIC.

I think I’ll write about that in another post…

but anyway.

so conclusion for tonights reflection and some last notes

-let go of how I used to be and focus on how I will be

– it’s all a matter of intention

-we can only keep trying

-everyone is different and their spiritual nearness to God and achieving that is unique and special.

  • simple goal of the night- since I can’t pray for now.. focus on doing lots of istighfar

be alive and connect to God the way you are today.  not by tryin to be the way you were yesterday . you will be a better person and your intention promises you that.