Contemplation

Oh Allah I used to cry to you all the time
Until you dried my tears away
but then just as my eyes became dry
so did my heart
because when I’d moisten my eyes with my tears
so would my heart remain moist

and despite the tears of sadness
I’d find through the rivers
cooling streams
giving my reluctance security
giving my shyness integrity

yet, now I’m treading on my own path

using my imagination to lay down bricks

that make their turns on rifts

 

Oh Lord, turn these scorched roads

into meandering runoffs

that lead to secret gardens

and profused abodes

before my heart completely hardens

and becomes spitefully zesty with nothing more than

ugly scoffs

 

 

So I pray to my bewildernment
as I sit hear with my hands up high
begging for my eyes to never dry
lest these amateur paths my hands pry

crumble nigh without knowing why

 

 

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13th of Ramadan 1437

http://www.alim.org/library/quran/AlQuran-tafsir/TIK/7/94

A Quran Reflection  ❤

SubhanAllahh there’s definitely something deep going on in surah araaf from, the stories of the previous prophets being denied resulting in destruction, and then to these ayahs 94 and 95.

I think there’s defnitely something I can infer regarding the psychology of a person, where he begins to think it’s totally normal for hardship and ease come together hand in hand.  Hardship and ease are both times of serious contemplation for a believer!  It’s not something for people to hold hands through and close their eyes till it’s over.

or enjoy until it’s over.

When the heart becomes dull to the الحسنة and thinks of it as nothing but a part of mother nature.  oh it happened in the past and it’s gonna happen in the future. nothing more to think of it.

For me, this is a spot for serious dua time.  To ask Allah to be extrememly mindful and thankful at times of ease and الحسنة and extremely careful and mindful and even thankful of course during times of hardship.

Relating these ayahs to my personal life. It scares me the most to see everything going SO well al humdulillah.  I have to compete with all the good things coming my way.  I feel like I really need to put in the effort (the same kind you do for finals- that kind of effort-) to please Allah swt and be thankful, and make duas.

To help other people and to fight to prove your thankfulness.

What I mean by fight is to take a serious position as if it’s my duty to be thankful.

and use my time like it’s life.  astaghfirullah. cuz that’s something I don’t really do.  But it really is time for me to tighten my belt up (as I think the prophet S would say) and be serious

besides, before ayahs 94 and the ayahs of the prophets,

around ayahs 50

وَلَا تُفْسِدُوا فِي الْأَرْضِ بَعْدَ إِصْلَاحِهَا وَادْعُوهُ خَوْفًا وَطَمَعًا ۚ إِنَّ رَحْمَتَ اللَّـهِ قَرِيبٌ مِّنَ الْمُحْسِنِينَ ﴿٥٦

I’m not making tafseer here, it’s just me connecting the ayahs to me so I can remeber and practice them. iA

Allah swt already told us to call upon him with legitimacy and urgency

cuz what else is خوف?  a person is direly serious when he’s scared and calling upon God.  A person is scared when he’s in a condition like this:

Man Survives 60 Hours Under Water In Sunken Ship

460x

this guy was submerged for 60 days under water only alive because of a bubble because of science because of Allah.

I’ll never forget this story man.. subhanallah, I still think about it every now and then.

anyway.. what is طمع ?

here’s my 4 year old giant handy dandy dictionary!!  ( i was popular for carrying it and using it every day and everywhere at Bayyinah since it was so HUGE and  fat and mighty)

tama

 

The Quran dictionary on ejtaal says it means to call upon him with fear and hope, where tam3 means hope, but it’s interesting to plug in all the other words as well,

cuz when you crave or desire something so bad, you feel as though that thing is a part of you and without it you are incomplete, thus you vehemently crave and desire it.  (like for chocolate for ex. just kidding)

and so in this case it’ll be like calling upon Allah swt is so necessary to you and what you are pleading him for is so direly needed.. without it you are just a mess and you need it…

NOT MAKING UP TAFSIR HERE

anyway, about all these words in the Quran.. these words are alive.  they penetrate you and hit you deep because they refer to something very real about you and your humanness.  they aren’t just words that you pick up from shakespeare or something and forget about it because they don’t mean much for you

The words are all particularly chosen because they give a very fitting meaning for every reader and follower..

anyway now I’m just gonna do some serious dua and try to make myself more serious about practicing my deen.

 

here’s the link to ejtaal and the word tam3:

http://ejtaal.net/aa/#hw4=679,ll=1970,ls=5,la=2704,sg=664,ha=450,pr=99,vi=244,mgf=559,mr=390,mn=866,aan=368,kz=1510,ulq=1146,uqa=268,uqw=1016,umr=664,ums=559,umj=501,uqq=215,bdw=564,amr=399,asb=612,auh=968,dhq=344,mht=561,msb=150,tla=69,amj=494,ens=1004,mis=1355