angst

I cant waste my light for wretched ecstasy, there’s no time for me, I’m not infinite and I have responsibilities.

I’m not used to looking in reverted mirrors, this hypocrisy is not my destiny

it’s not my fortitude

poison apple, suffocating my thoughts away from me, it’s not my fortitude. I’m not used to this blasphemy burning my dreams

what horrors lie behind you

terrified over what may find me, terrified over what may surprise me, terrified over what may surpass me,

say no to me,

dissolve away

this is not my fortitude

Bro I was on TV!!

Can’t believe I’ve been interviewed by riverfront times, npr, Hec-TV, and Channel 5 news! 4 different interviews within one week!  Once i get my hands on the news video review, I’ll add that in.

omg.

I’m somebody who’d hide behind everyone in class and pray to God that a teacher wouldn’t pick me to answer a question.  Lo and Behold, in just a few months of joining CAIR, my work has brought me into the media asking me questions and my opinions about my work!   subhanAllah ❤

So what is this all about? I recurated a local exhibition featuring American-Muslim artists from all over STL  to exhibit and sell their work.

I’ll add in more information and detail on how I did everything soon. I’m totally pooped after 3 months of planning this out!  BTW it was a huge success.  over 250+ came to the exhibition and some people couldnt even enter because of lack of parking.

okaaayyy so..

here are some articles and a video!

 

i had no idea what i look like in person until now 😮  mirrors are deceiving.

http://www.cair-mo.org/art

http://news.stlpublicradio.org/post/cair-missouri-organizes-first-muslim-american-art-exhibit#stream/0

http://www.riverfronttimes.com/artsblog/2017/04/06/opening-this-weekend-st-louis-first-ever-muslim-art-show

plz ignore my face tho.  Idky I look so terrified.

 

Gosh, before this, I had nothing for my resume. And now I got so much done in just one shot!  🙂 🙂

 

How long

For how long will my father be stolen from me

For how long will I be bereaved of my king

For how long will I only retain memory of his kindness, and let my eyes be soaked with sadness

My father, my provider, the most well-meaning being I know

raising me with nothing but hugs and kisses

showing me his love for animals and bird houses

teaching me to speak well, and love.

growing up, I had only tried to care for him

but his mental illness, his simplicity for life had abducted me from security.

I grew up with little integrity and dignity

Hiding from the embarrassment

that my father cannot be seen as normal.

From birth, to even now a past marriage, he is still not mine yet

He’s still away from me.

He’s close in my heart

but these years have me distraught.

22 years, and i’m still struggling to give him the best

to give the best of what any father deserves

which is why it kills me that

the only rest he can really have

is his final one

and nobody else can see that but us.

it is all invisible

 

Sweetness in falling back

Doesn’t giving up sound sweet

The idea of being left idle

As you idealise the thought of falling off your feet 

Letting life flow 

Let me be closed minded for a little while

Let me sleep

Let me drown deep 

With my eyes closed 

And my heart at silent slow beats

Giving up

Letting go

For just a second

Naahh time to run the coffee maker cuz this girl has got to pass her exams

April fools. Lol

A secret, intentionally forgotten

Is chivalry a secret?

Silently preserved in the archives of patriarchy

Is a woman’s respect and honor a conspiracy as much as it is a horrid dream
You think you’re being casual but damn it I know what you’re doing

I’m not your bro or broski

It’s a projection to enjoy my reaction and feed yourself

I’m not your friend, I’m a woman with honor and dignity

Because I wouldn’t want anyone else treated like that, regardless of who they are.

Chastity isn’t only on the inside

It’s everything on the outside

Be loyal to yourself, let others be loyal to themselves as well.

Logic potion

Sometimes I wish

That when I’m set Inna trance of emotion

I can sip on a cup of  logic potion

Where I can submerge into  facts

And stop dreaming of fluffy cats

And think for myself without confusion

 

This logic potion

Isn’t an ordinary notion

I won’t get drunk, it’s quite the opposite really

It’s everything nice but without the touchy feely

I’ll nibble on my chocolate

With my eyes awake and open

Reclining on my chair

Sipping on my logic potion,

which btw I wouldn’t ever share!

It helps me see quite clearly

But the price is paid quite dearly

As a part of me is numbed away

And i lose those thoughts I thought

so freely

Thoughts that kept me awake at night

Sometimes putting me to sleep in bliss

That I can have one last kiss of hope

Before I begin the next day

Ready to live the next day

With this potion, everything becomes mechanical

And all actions seem equivocal

It’s math and deduction

And of course also intuition

But I realized, that the feelings I have teach me more than my own objections

They teach me about me

Faster than any division

It takes time to set approximations

But with my heart, I quickly see with my reactions

So no,

Change of mind! I was just kidding

I’ll have a sip of bubble tea instead!