self-love

Live in this world to give, then there isn’t much left to hurt you
Live in this world for sacrifice, your expectations will be met.
Live in this world for patience, there’s no room for regret.
Live in this world to serve, your feet will never touch the ground

and perhaps you will find self-love

through perseverance

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Crying in words

Why cant I stop this overwhelming feeling of heartbreak and rigidity?  My emotions have become immobile- unable to shift and change. Instead, it’s off the charts in angst and frozen in the tundra of a once blooming spring.  Dreams and whimsy, all flushed into a sinkhole of reality. A blackhole of burden, pressure, and a repeating pattern of hopes time-warped into non-existence. 

 

This is why I hate being tickled with the happy ideas of life’s average milestones. Because average is exactly what I’m not. Average is aristocracy among all those around me dwelling in posh politics and wealth. I’m living in my own world, within the world of my immediate community, within the world of my city, within a grim world of war, poverty, and distrust.  Of course the overall world has it’s little honeycomb pockets of honey with honest-working people buzzing in their lives for the greater good.  

 

But coming back to me, my purpose, and my stability, I’ve no choice but to rest my case of happiness into studying, labor, and discipline. I’m a soldier in my own war, and there is no giving in.  

 

So here I am, chiseling my goals out of the glaciers of my gloom.

Growing Up

When did I grow up so fast

Because I still feel the same chills

As I did when I was a child

Who stood around the corner

Far from the other kids

Just like now

I stand around relentlessly

Infinitely unsure

On whether to step into the game

Or flake out

Only difference between now

And me as a child

Is that I don’t cry as often

And I wish I could.

Sip of words and Snack at color

Let me sip my cup of words

and nibble on a bite of color

for both together

give the most luxurious belch!

intoxicated with inspiration

I forget all my aggravation,

all, at the quench of my thirst!

Let me tip my pen in honor of my reader

and flip my brush in honor of my admirer

For I feel I have found an old friend named satisfaction

at the silent consumption

of this humble interaction!

 

A mess of truths (experience)

I said Goodbye to a closed door

belonging to an empty room

and walked away

with its mess in my head,

and my hands empty-handed, yet

trailing behind me

a massive shadow of guilt,

for yet again,

I wasted my time

for taking the burden and swiping out the room

but this time, I will dare say

that the mess in my head-

I will make sure to clear it away

and chisel the hidden crystal truths

into perfectly chiseled realities

for me to adorn myself with, as necklaces

bangles, and rings.

this is the collection of luxury

I earn through the misery

of leaving an unsolved mystery

of an empty room

with all its content

stolen and stuffed into my little head.