How to be a good Imam

Bismillah

Man the things that Allah swt teaches me with amazes me.  I’m thankful for all the sour people that come in my life.  It teaches me to stick up for myself, it teaches me morals, and it teaches me how to grow.

Based on a strange encounter I had with whom I had no idea was an Imam because of his lack of ethics, I decided to list out things I wish I was able to be treated with as a girl seeking help from a leader.

1) Take some counseling/ psych courses

Please learn how to approach a broken person.  Learn how to talk to someone, especially if they refuse to discuss confidential information with you.  If you want to help them, RESPECT THEIR BOUNDARIES and keep it HALAL.

If you are an Imam, learn to be professional in social work rather than to start abusing a victim and forcing them into your advice.

2)  Never insult your client

First thing they told me is that I’m bitter. Why? Because I wasn’t giggling or sweet-talking. I wasn’t smiling. I’m a survivor and trying to get my work done.  As a woman, I prefer to be straight-to-the point when talking to someone.

You don’t know your client.  You don’t know what they went through.  You don’t tell them they’re messed up for sticking to the rules and sharing their opinion

3) Never use religion as a weapon against them

This shows your lack of understanding of Islam.  Are you advising someone by threatening them?  That’s a form of abuse in itself. It’s messed up and doesn’t ever help someone.

4) Listen to what your client is saying

Truly listen to them. Emphasize with them.  Imagine what their context is. Understand them. Open your heart to them.  Be kind to them.  Look at what they’re going through.  Look at their struggles, their circumstances, give them credit for the effort they’ve put into.

5)  Believe in them.

When they tell you their crisis, don’t take it for granted.  It’s not something to be taken lightly.  Don’t slap them in their face and tell them their crisis is nothing, that people are going through worse things.  Believe in what they’re saying.  Help them get better, help them heal.

6) Allow them their freedom and options

Allow them to choose their path.  After-all, they’re the ones who are struggling, let them choose their struggles. Let them take their time in things.  There’s no time-limit or deadline on how they should progress.

DO NOT FORCE your advice on someone. YOU COULD BE WRONG.  You could be misunderstanding something. LET ALLAH CATER THEIR PATHS AND DESTINY.  NOT YOU.  YOU ARE NOT GOD.

 

HasbiyAllahu wa ni’mal wakil.

In the end, Allah swt is everyone’s Wali. Allah is everyone’s protector. Allah is the one who provides refuge. Let Allah be Allah and let you be the Imam.

JazakAllahukhairan.

 

 

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6 comments on “How to be a good Imam

  1. Suma Fiore says:

    I want you to go and shout what you’ve written here off the rooftops. I’ll join you.

    It really frustrates to think that there’s such a lack of Imams with the qualities that you’ve described here. Most of the ones I’ve met are so far from what I’d want in an Imam and it baffles me. Islam is a religion of love, shouldn’t it make people less…cold? Less rude?

    Your #3 is the most important for me. It’s an insult to Islam and a such a terrible thing to use it as a way to distance yourself from someone as opposed to granting compassion and humility. Especially someone who is genuinely asking for your help or guidance.

    Such a great post, too many good points to mention. (I feel the need to say that there are also plenty of great Imams out there!)

    Liked by 1 person

    • ollieforreal says:

      Thanks for your comment! I really appreciate the encouragement, I’m seriously considering posting it on my personal fb page but just unsure of the backlash if ya know what i mean 😛

      Yes, #3 is the epitome of what ruined religion for past generations. This type of thinking was especially used against women (you’re going to hell if you don’t obey your husband bla bla)

      You’re right, I should note that there are many great Imams. I’ve personally learned from some truly talented Imams who treat people like people and they deserve appreciation for their honest services.

      Liked by 1 person

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