Today, I nearly lost it. I couldn’t control my tears. I was in too much pain to handle working in class. Classmates started staring at me as I was cringing, trembling and probably turning red from this female bodily chaos. The stress in getting through my classes, doing all my homework and taking care of my brain all while perioding ( dont want to say the “m” word, it sounds scary and medical) became overbearing.
My day at school just began and I only lasted 5 minutes in ceramics class until I whimpered to my professor if I can come back tomorrow to work on my projects. I whimpered. I didn’t have the energy to stoke up a straight forward Hey I’m not feeling good, I need to leave- Can I come tomorrow. ” I didn’t want to make a scene. Especially since college just started a week ago 😥
For me, my period consists of: Hormones, wanting to throw up, hungry, thirsty, not hungry, not thirsty, hating and loving in the same time, wanting to crap out all the pain, the feeling of knives being jabbed up your vagina, and then lastly the overall fatigue and insane need for sleep. all whilst the urge to inhale chocolate. It excruciating since my body isn’t able to withstand it all at once. I can’t even sleep through it. I just wait until it’s over. 48 hours. of waiting.
So how can this not result in a few tears dying to escape. Literally dying. I Felt like I needed to die to end it all. I can’t wait till menopause. I’d rather deal with heat flashes any day then the combination of physical and mental hell infused into my body and mind.
I really do wonder how other women are able to conceal this torture. It truly amazes me how they’re able to bare through it and still get work done and maintain a professional face. I know these period stories are nothing new but it’s something that seriously affects me every month. It affects the way I think and feel every time.
Oh how I wish this society can officially accept women having at least one day off for their periods. I wonder how much more would actually get accomplished by that. Fortunately, men in Islam are commanded to be extra kind and patient with the women in their lives when they go through this pain( AKA Bitch phase). Women are given time off their duties and allowed to snooze and let all go as they vortex into their own uterine world of biological renewal. I’m spoiled. And it’s my god-given right to be!